Interesting question...Can you JUST be HAPPY? Can you simply turn up your personal happiness dial? Is it simply a state of mind? Pop psychology leads us to think that we're just in need of a paradigm shift or that we need to adopt a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude). Is you glass half empty or half full? And who's in charge of pouring that glass anyway? Is it really that simple? Can you just wake up one morning decide to be happy?
One thing that I've noticed in my 45 years is that there seems to be little correlation to the cards life deals you and your happiness. I know people who have lost spouses, had financial ruin, endured serious illnesses or have children who have complicated issues, yet these people continue to greet each day with their best face forward and serve as an inspiration to others. What gives? Does heartbreak and misfortune cause you to appreciate the good things in your life more? And why is it that there are people who appear to "have it all" who are miserable and complain about the slightest things? On the surface, it doesn't compute.
What separates those who let life's obstacles roll of their backs from those who grow bitter? Why are some people able to see themselves as a survivor of misfortune rather than a victim? Maybe it's simply a refusal to be taken down without a fight. Maybe, instead of focusing on what's not working in their lives, they see what IS working. Maybe something restores their faith, gives them hope or brings them inspiration. Maybe something inside of them tells them that tomorrow's a new day, with new possibilities.
If we can, in fact, engineer our own happiness, how do we do it? Maybe the answer is different for everyone, but it's something to think about. Maybe it comes down to deciding what's important and what's not worth worrying about. Maybe it's learning to make the best of a given situation, taking the high road or just forgetting about the petty stuff that doesn't mater. Maybe it's putting the needs of others before your own. Maybe it's a commitment to make the world better. What's going to bog you down tomorrow? What is going to raise you up? How are you going to taking a step forward towards your life's goals and creating your happiness? Only you can decide. Have a good week.
One question: Has the recent discovery that you are now an Ophiuchus and not a Sagittarian had any influence on your outlook on life? I hear Sagittarians have a very positive outlook on life. Not so sure about those Ophiuchus folks, considering they are serpent holders and what not.
ReplyDeleteThe glass is always half empty, and it's always half full; it's that ebb and flow / yin and yang that I struggle with in my daily life (terrible mommy moments - wonderful bits in between that override it all). I mean... there is a time to mourn, a time to rejoice, a time to work, a time to play. I liken it all to my involvement in dance all those many years... People ask was it always easy? Were you told to lose weight? Did you miss out on other things as a result of all your classes? Yes, yes and yes, but.... would I do it again? Yes? Do I miss those years with all my heart? Yes. It was a terrible, beautiful, difficult, tear-rendering, joyous, pride-building experience. Life-affirming, right? Which is.... what you're getting at here, and... which you should know quite a bit about......IN fact, you are such a survivor and have such a move it forward attitude, I would be interested to hear what you think of the victims who are really not victims but wallowing in their own series of glass half empty days (and I can tell you now, you are probably far more tolerant than I am). Anyway - engineering our own happiness. Goodness. I don't presume to say that I know the same pain others have felt, but.... I do think that - yes, in part, we do engineer our own happiness or at least embrace what we need to.
ReplyDeleteGood post :-), btw. Getting us thinking this Mon am.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sherri. I guess I'm tolerant because I realize that some people do have clinical depression or other serious issues going on in their lives, such as a sick family member. I guess I give people the benefit of doubt, a kind of "till you've walked a miles in someone else's shoes" thing. Plus, I think kindness can be contagious--I know that's just a little too perky for a Monday morning, but have you ever noticed when you wave someone into traffic, they tend to let someone else in? People discover that being nice and considerate feels good.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely - all those things warrant a bit of down attitude for a while - totally agree. I am more intolerant, I think, of those who get angry about something and wallow in it for years - while, like you said, others are dealing with REAL issues like illness, depression or other problems.
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